I did have something really long written about how I’m fairly certain I am in the wrong body, but reading it over, it just seemed pointlessly long, and probably only made sense to me. I will say that what I want isn’t possible medically at present, and I’d rather do nothing than compromise.

I’m still going to try that writing exercise, that sounds like fun. I’ve done that in tabletop roleplaying games, but for some reason it never occurred to me to write using my own fears as a basis for a character’s fears.

It wasn’t the male body, it was the aggressive way of life. What I wanted was to be myself in a non-gender-conforming way, to be a strong, bold, assertive, badass woman. Yes those are traits you usually assign to a man, and might also call masculine in a writing voice, but it’s not that cut and dry. Just because there are few or no role models for women to be conquerors doesn’t mean I can’t go be one. I’m a goddamn warrior. I slay my foes all the time, be they artistic weaknesses or fears or dudes hitting on me. I *love* meeting other women who go out and take what they want from the world; it’s rare, but there are like minds out there.

And that may not be you at all, you may be a committed transperson and that is awesome too. But I’d suggest writing at least one character with your *real* feelings. Perhaps your female protaganist really does wish she were allowed the things men are allowed. Maybe one of your male characters is a female in disguise. But you should let your fears and neuroses into your work, more than anything they make your characters believable and relatable.

I read about this writing exercise you can do where you sit down and spend 5 minutes writing down all your fears about writing. Then you use those fears as your protaganist’s fears. You’ll have a character that readers relate to and understand deeply and get really emotionally connected to, because everyone has the same fears. I think *most* women are very concerned with gender roles and how they fit into society and how scary it is to break out of those expectations (or even how “shallow” it is to conform even if it’s how you really are), and letting that into your characters will only make them more believable and real.

I think one of the biggest fears we women have is of not being taken seriously, of getting no respect. Even after proving ourselves again and again, men dismiss us. Other women too, the traitors! I have to assert myself all the time in artistic circles lest I be taken for a “girlfriend” rather than a fucking ass-kicking artist. I can paint circles around many of the dudes I meet and yet I have to prove it every time before I get respectful treatment. And still, a lot of artists treat me as an adorable little sister. I’m always the one coming from a position of less power to them. Well, not for long, suckers, they might not see it happening right in front of them in plain daylight but I’m building my siege engines and digging my tunnels under their walls.

People think of you what you tell them to, and it takes a long time to be comfortable saying “I will kick your ass. Kneel before me. Be afraid.” But even a woman can do it. Like Maven

As a physically female writer who doesn’t identify with the stereotypical female at all, this is a tricky issue for me. I have always been one of the lads, and struggled in interaction with females of a similar age to myself. Many of them dreamed only to be an ornament on a man’s arm. They had no further ambition, and expected me to be the same. That attitude has always baffled me.

In writing my stories, I tend to write male characters not because that’s what’s expected within my favored genre, but because that is what I identify most strongly with.

As a military sci-fi writer, is this male focus excusable? There are far too many male protagonists, and far too few female protagonists in this sub-genre already. It presents me a quandary, as being biologically female, I have suffered anti-female sexism from men and women alike, and feel I should be doing my part to encourage all readers to think positively of women (and also of men. I am, above all, an equalist.)

That said, I don’t expect my writing will appeal strongly to the “traditional Western feminine” audience because my writing voice tends toward the “traditional Western masculine”, being more technical and less concerned, though not devoid of, feelings; however, is that any excuse for the small number of females in my fiction? Half of ending sexism means providing positive and realistic examples of both genders, regardless of the the main audience’s identity, yet my main story deals predominantly with strong, masculine, military officers of many species.

In fact, going solely from the short story blurb and character summary, my female, the lead alien in addition to being the lead female, suffers somewhat from appearing to be a damsel in distress quite early in the story. Of course, that plays right into the stereotypes. Worse still, she and my lead male are in a romantic relationship, which, if not tackled carefully, may possibly encourage people to compare my lead male with Captain Kirk of Star Trek. She does defer to her beloved, allowing him to escort her to her ship, and she is in fact the lower ranking of the pair.

I do wonder if I might have taken a misstep in creating this character. She is strong, intelligent, and talented, and was a fighter pilot who was integral in designing the next generation of space-superiority craft. (I think she’d like Dr. Clarice Maven very much, except that Maven’s a head-shrink.)

I worry whether people will look past the stereotype to see that she is an interesting and complete character herself. Is her matching enough of the stereotype going to achieve the opposite and have people focusing on the socially expected traits, rather than those traits which make her special, and unique?

Equality of all kinds is a veritable mine field. I’m not sure if it’s ever possible to navigate it without losing a few soldiers along the way.

Just the same as how I find stories about predominantly girls very empowering to me as a male, it gives me a window into more complex relationships.

Frequently when stories have many males and females, there is a great focus in the story on the inter-sexual rapport and it predominates the story where frequently same-sexed characters don't interact much. It leads to that misperception that we're only a somebody based on how we relate heterosexually.

Yes, as long as some writers and others are interested in doing something different, we're still okay. I hope!

As an example:

"The Witcher" and some other Western RPGs like Ego Draconis, DragonAge(2 upcoming games) are examples of games trying to buck the "black and white morality" issue. These are all Western RPGs though, not very sure what Japanese RPGs are doing on their part.

I think you make some very good points there. I also think that writers and other media makers have the power to change all of this for the better, if they choose to.

Thank you very much for commenting, Dee!

Sadly, I would write stories if I could but bummer… I'm just never good at trumping stereotypes. And it's very cliched, too.

Anyways, a culprit is society itself. It seems to be an international phenomenon where people go to school, are brought up to regurgitate lines of data and information without being taught to question the "whys", "hows" and everything else behind a person, his/her actions, etc.

So, cultural products like books, etc. will definitely reflect such "black and white" thinking and moralisation. That someone is evil 'cos one was brought up to think so. That all men or women are lying bastards who will be villains.

P.S. And yeah, your bf is right, that wouldn't fly the other way – was the game created by Joss Whedon perhaps?

rofl! Hey, Angel had superpowers… but he was lame. Spike had… but he was evil. Er… Xander… Well Giles didn't have superpowers, but he was still awesome.

Shush.

Yes, percentages. That's exactly where I was trying to get to. I took a wrong turning somewhere and went off on a ramble.

And yes, I do believe there are actual differences between women and men beyond the obvious provisioning of equipment. But I tend to think it's much more about percentages than absolutes. A very good friend of mine is a schoolteacher. She attended a lecture from a well-regarded scientist who had shown conclusively that girls learn differently than boys. Here's how it played out: 60% of boys learned in Way A and 60% of girls learned in Way B. Proven, sorted, done! BUT, that also meant that 40% of boys learned in Way B and 40% of girls learned in Way A. So, should we be making assumptions about individuals? Probably not with those odds.

And based on my experience with gay romance in comics, I have to think this is true for a lot of different things. There are a lot of gay guys — probably the majority of gay guys — who like the kind of hypersexed characters depicted in Class Comics publications. But for me and a sizable minority of gay men, those characters do nothing. For us, it's about the relationship and connection between the characters – as it seems to be for many women who like yaoi. We fall under the 40% of boys who like the "Way B" of romance. So, again, best not to make assumptions, by my lights.

And personally, I love me some sweet bunnies (and teddy bears too – you should see my home!). I'm all about the sweetness and rainbows and puppies. Not much for the squeeing though, but I'm sure that's just conditioning.

Alex

P.S. And yeah, your bf is right, that wouldn't fly the other way – was the game created by Joss Whedon perhaps?